He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
