If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
