good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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