May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize