genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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