I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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