you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
