I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
