ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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