i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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