i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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