Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
