Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
