Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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