At least make sure they are 18
Why
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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