I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
