you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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