you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
