I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
