that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
