she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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