Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize