so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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