Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
