you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
