Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
