we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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