I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
