would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
