when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
