So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize