i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
lets start a swedish sibling band together
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
