I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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