so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
