May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
