pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
