It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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