My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
