I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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