I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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