my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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