I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize