you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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