matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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