One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
