marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
