Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
