(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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