We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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