So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
