don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
