accomplished twins. life is a go
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
