we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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