He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
