It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you would pick up someone in the library
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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