I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
