Only a mothe r could love this liver
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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