so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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