this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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