my vag is so smooth its legendary
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
