were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Semen is not good for contacts.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
