So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize