I hate your face
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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