In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize