he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
