Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
