I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
