Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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