I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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