Me too!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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